Have you ever read Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages"? It's an incredible book that basically tells you and your partner what your currency is. You know, that thing that Dr. Phil talks about, everybody has it. We all need something that motivates us. For some it's a simple touch of the arm, others it's the act of picking up after a child, and still others the almighty dollar.
Anyway Eric and I read the book a while back (maybe two years) and we learned that his love language is affection. And it's definitely not just the affection you would think a guy wants. It's the little things, like a kiss or just a soft touch on the arm. Little bits of affection from me to him tells him that I love him.
For me? I'm a service person, when he does things for me or the kids, unrequested, that means a lot. It means, he's thinking about something other than himself at the moment.
There was an experiment this weekend that he didn't know about. Friday night he was extremely helpful. When I arrived at the house, he came bounding out to help me bring in everything. He'd ordered pizza ahead of time, helped get kids ready for bed after. So, affection was exchanged.
Saturday morning came. Out to breakfast we go.....again, same thing, LOTS and LOTS of help. I probably asked him to get into the diaper back 5-6 times and he did it without complaint or getting huffy about asking me if I had everything (a typical pre-experiment response). Took the boys to the store, no problems. More affection.
So, that's more like it. We've exchanged things based on our love languages.