Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Tomorrow is my 35th birthday

And, oddly, it is not hitting me at all.

25 hit me hard, not 30. And now not 35. Probably because at 25 I was single with very little direction in my life. I had a good teaching job, but my life direction wasn't all that "meaningful". I really think I had a good direction, just that I was doing a lot of motions.

At 30, I'd met the love of my life.....and while things were really rocky at first and it's taken a good five years to get him nearly trained, I knew my life had a new meaning.

Two years later, I got even more meaning in my life. The most important one to date. Duck. I love my Duck. Even though he's been whiny, crabby, and every other word is "help" or "owie" I love him to pieces.

This year? This year?

When Eric and I started having difficulty getting pregnant late last year, we decided that my birthday was our cut off. Then when we saw the RE, we opted for December. In the back of my mind, though, it was still my birthday. I wanted to be pregnant by the time I turned 35.

Sure enough, our last month before moving on to fertility drugs, I got that BIG FAT POSITIVE!

So, as I reach birthday number 35, I welcome it. I'm not getting older, just better.

Sunday, August 24, 2008


And so it begins.........the WONDERFUL transition between jibberish and talking. We are so excited about this. We've been working on mimicking 3-4 word statements of "I want...." and he's finally doing it on his own.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Pregnancy Honeymoon

This is the time in your pregnancy that starts as soon as your appetite comes back from being nauseous all the time (or from spending more time iwth the Porcelain Goddess than with anyone else in your life) and ends the minute you start thinking "oh my God, get this kid out of me" and you start filing eviction notices on your baby.

I'm really hoping I'll get a good four month honeymoon out of this kid. I got 5 months out of Duck because, well, I was just so busy all the time that I didn't have time to think about the fact that it was 95+ degrees outside with 100% humidity every single day and I was out walking in it all the time. So, it wasn't til about 3-4 weeks before Duck was born that I filed his eviction notice.

It took a long time to get here, so I'm enjoying my pregnancy this time around.

More about our appt yesterday:
  • We met with a genetics counselor at the hospital first. He took a detailed history from me on my siblings, their children, my parents, my parents siblings and their children. I have some "homework" to do as far as some questions to ask, but nothing too difficult.
  • We had several options from do nothing to do an amnio at 15 weeks. We opted for the least invasive option and had them do an ultrasound and blood draw yesterday. I'll go back again in a few weeks for another blood draw. If something shows up on any of that, we'll talk about doing an Amniocentesis. Nothing is guaranteed.
  • So, we had the ultrasound to measure for Down Syndrome and they wanted the fluid to measure less than 3 mm. It was 1.98 mm. I'm good there, plus the baby has a nasal bone, making our odds even less. No other abdnormalites.
  • Since the baby was extremely cooperative in the first 4 minutes, the tech was able to play around and get a good shot of the baby's bits. But, given that it was prior to 13 weeks, she could only give an educated guess. She saidshe's rarely wrong, though. So, get ready for baby Henry James!
  • His heartbeat was 160 bpm yesterday.
  • My weight was 161.5 lbs, but I attribute that to the fact I had jeans on and it was a scale different from my OB's. (I doubt I gained 2.5 pounds in 4 days, but I did get my appetite back this week)
  • I have a lovely lumpy bruise from the blood draw. Not happy about that one. I don't like needles and this one freaking HURT!
That's all for now.

Friday, August 22, 2008

First peek

Your first peek at Baby S. measuring 13 weeks 0 days at 12 weeks 4 days

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Lessons learned

I think as a mom, one of the most important (and likely valuable) lessons I've learned from my mom is the ability to multi-task. I say this because oddly, whenever I bring cookies in to work, someone always asks how I find time.

I don't know, I just do.

I can bake cookies (double batch btw), clean up the kitchen (to include rearranging pantry), sort laundry, entertain a 3 year old and sort laundryall in about 3 hours of time. Granted, probably only 2 of those at one time, but my 3 year old can follow directions and help me change loads.

(Thank God he knows what "in" means)

I don't remember specifically being taught to multi-task and while women are more natural at it than men, I definitely know women who don't do so well. But I just remember watching my mom do it all. Three kids, husband and a job.....all of which had its own set of issues and challenges. Of course, they all had rewards too. But my mom was an inspiration for me...if she could do it all, so could I.

Admittedly, I have my faults with multi-tasking. I tend to take on too much, not say no and after about 3-5 months of that, I break. Yep, I break. Usually ends with a trip to the doctor's because I'm so run down and two or more days off from work.

But, once I'm better? It's off to anxiety-ridden multi-tasking again. I like it, though. I feel useful. Sitting on the couch, relaxing? I don't feel so useful.....well, that is unless I'm being used as a pillow by Duck. Then I feel extremely useful and grateful. I love cuddling with my baby boy.

I rarely sit down though. Again, I don't think I saw my mom sit much unless it was after dinner and the house was once again spotless (and yeah, I mean spotless....we used to say that Buckingham Palace couldn't match my mom's cleanliness)

I know, I know. Twelve weeks pregnant with a history of a subchorionic bleed, I need to take it easy. How?

I don't know the meaning of taking it easy. I like a clean house (contrary to what my mom or dad might tell you), but I think I'm the only one in my home that does, so that makes it hard. Obviously, Duck doesn't care. He wants toys, food, juice and his mama. E? Well, he's an entirely different story. But, I take great satisfaction in a clean house. I also HATE HATE HATE ants. Oddly, I can deal with cockroaches, spiders and even the occasional snake or gecko in the apartment. But I hate ants. (and yes, right now I have an infestation thanks to my wonderful (cough cough) neighbors and their a/c unit. Btw, baby powder, is a GREAT way to rid yourself of ants and have a baby fresh smell in your home.

I did spend 3 hours cleaning my kitchen top to bottom before making cookies on Sunday. My counters are completely clear for the first time since we moved in 4 months ago. My dining room table is used EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT for dinner. I can probably count on one hand the number of times we ate at the table in the previous four years. (thank you MIL for the furniture, it's helped our family have family time)

Anyway, time to go multi-task again. Have to get Duck up from his nap, get him a snack, make some meatloaf and repackage beef and chicken for the freezer.

Monday, August 18, 2008

12-week stats & Duck's first day

Weight: 159 pounds (that's a 20-pound loss since April, but only 8 since getting a BFP)
Blood pressure: 113/68 (well within my normal)

I can stop taking Metformin now (YAY) since it was not to control diabetes.

Had bloodwork done (oh yippie).

I go Friday for the big nuchal fold test where they'll see if the baby has any abnormalities. It's still too early to find out if our little M&M is plain or peanut.

God, how I love plain M&Ms!!!

Getting in and out of Duck's school is a mess, but at least we got there. I took him in and he was fine at the table, til I said goodbye. Not sure if it was me or Puppy he was crying for, but he was still screaming when I go to the door at the other end of the hallway.

His teacher said he cried for an hour. :(

She also told E that she rocked him to sleep he was so upset about going down for a nap without Puppy or "mimi" (pacifier).

It was a good day, though.

At this point, he doesn't go back til at least Wednesday, thanks to Tropical Storm Fay. We're waiting to find out if our district is going to cancel Wednesday too.

Friday, August 15, 2008

I do believe

that I must have too high of expectations. That or I'm just a major PITA.

We got Duck's supply list for school thrusday night. SCHOOL STARTS MONDAY.

Thank God today was payday. But geez Louise, four days time to buy everything he needs including a new blanket and a regular-sized backpack. (yes, my small-for-his-age 3 yo child needs to carry a regualr backpack. Can't be his PBK toddler backpack.....according to his teacher, it won't be "big enough".)

Among other things, a box of resealable baggies, napkins, paper towels, kleenex. (oh and don't forget diapers and wipes since mine is one a FEW that aren't potty-trained.)


Guess things have changed since I was teaching. Oh wait, no they haven't. It's just because he's in pre-k......all the other parents could get their lists from Walmart or Target.

I even emailed the teacher last week and got nothing back.

Thursday, August 14, 2008


Not only did I push myself to keep calling the OB I wanted, I finally (3 calls later) got through to the right person and scheduled a new appointment for September 5th. I'm so excited. A new doctor that is older, cares deeply for his patients, will handle high risk patients and best of all......delivers at the hospital 1.8 miles from us. so many problems solved on this, the least of which my mom already knows how to get to this hospital and so transporting Duck back and forth won't be a problem.

In somewhat related news, I was wired agian last night. I think it was because I actually got some housework done after dinner. I cleaned up the living room, dining, did two loads of laundry and sorted 4 more loads for E to start today. I also picked up our bedroom and made our bed. I finally laid down about 11:30, but couldn't get comfy. E came in to rub my back, but it didn't really help. I think I finally passed out at 1:00. And then I was back up at 6:00. I know I know, sleepless nights are ahead. But at least there's a prize with that sleeplessness. Right now it's just about having too much to do and not enough time to do any of it.

but, I did sort 4, no wait, 6 loads of laundry for E to start today. It was weird. I was trying to make sure my light and dark towels didn't go in together. And I can't put more than 6 towels in my dryer at once because it's a PITA POS. (wouldn't the laundry mat be cheaper?) So, I had a towel on my lap and I get this BRILLIANT idea......I laid 6 towels out in a neat pile, then folded it in half twice. VOILA! Load #1. Did this two more times for towels. Then I did it with sheets. Three more loads. (we've had houseguests and frankly haven't done the big stuff since beginning of July as there wasn't a need and I didn't feel that great to do it.) So I popped a towel load in this morning before I left and reminded E this morning to put it in the dryer.

I'll have to fold it all, but that's nothing when it can be put right away after that.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

some things are just GENETIC

Ever feel so helpless when your child is screaming that you just have to cry too? Yeah, been there. As recent as Sunday night.

Even after a week of Miralax, Phillips MoM, prunes, plum juice, pumpkin, graham crackers, etc......my little Duck was once again backed up. I finally had to resort to an enema. Not the first time I had to do so, but definitely the first time I cried.

It's so heart-breaking to know that you passed on the one thing to your child you'd never wish on anyone, let alone this sweet baby boy who can't tell you why he hurts or even that his belly doesn't feel good. Unfortunately for us, it's often too late for us to know what's wrong.

We spent 6 months on Miralax last year. Finally got him off it at Christmas. We had a good 6 months off it and then BAM. he goes three times in 2.5 weeks. NOT healthy.

So, I did the deed, cried while I made him sit on the toilet, and then praised him to high heaven while I held him after and he screamed. I'm fairly certain that potty-training is on hold for a while because I think the whole thing traumatized him. He doesn't even want to go near the potty right now. It's a bad-bad-bad place.

I spent 15 minutes on the phone with Mr. M from the pediatrician's office. He's our second favorite nurse (after Ms. S that is). He and Dr. G saw Duck last year when we had our first bout. We talked about the Miralax and adding Mineral Oil. Said popcorn and fig newtons are a good source as well. (Yeah, had to admit my 3 year old has been eating popcorn since he was just barely 2.......hey, at least I made it to 2.5 before he had a hot dog.) So, we're back on Miralax for a few weeks. Boy, the school will LOVE me for that one. Not only am I sending them a not-yet-pt'd 3 yo with a speech impairment, but he's also on a wacky poop schedule.

How am I feeling? Decent today. Monday was awful. Haven't been sleeping well and I guess it took its toll. I came home from work at 11:30 and slept til nearly 4:00. I finally got a prescription for a sleep med and that's supposed to help with the nausea. Um, yeah, I was up at 1, 2, 2:30, 3, 3:45, 5, 5:30. NOT my idea of sleep.

I am having a bummer of a day in that I've decided to switch my OB. I've never really clicked with my current OB and when I was pg with Duck it didn't really matter. There was another OB in the practice who I saw right up til delivery. Then Dr. Sunshine delivered Duck. Damn. Then? Then the other OB left the practice. Damn again.

So, there have been things adding up for the last three years since I had Duck and last month's visit was basically it. I can't imagine that his practice is so HUGE that he can walk into an exam room and seriously ask "have we met?" when he's had his hands in places that even E can't AND he's half-reading my chart. Granted, it was three years ago, but it's not like I dropped off the face of the earth. I have been in the office for other things.

His bedside manner just plain sucks. And, you know what, I want that. I expect that in my OB/GYN.

Maybe it's just me. But I grew up with doctors that cared, that asked how your family was doing BY NAME, that really spent time with you. We have an AWESOME pediatrician and an AWESOME family doctor. The pedi spends lots of time with us, especially since Duck has delays and he wants to hear all the new and exciting things Duck is doing, as well as all of our concerns....right down to his cracked toenails. The family doctor......wow, totally amazing. She listens. And she's even managed to get E back on track medicine wise. I think it's because he thinks she's hot. Doesn't matter, my husband is down to 3 cigarettes a day and all because Dr. B got him to take Chantix.

Anyway, I'mm OB shopping at 11 weeks. I found one that does handle high-risk and will deliver at the hospital right by us. Double-bonus. The triple treat??? I was in Target last night and see this guy in scrubs. As I walk past him, I see his name on his scrubs. It's hte OB I really want to go to. I'm hoping it's a sign!

That's all for now.

The baby M&M is now about 2 inches long form crown to rump and weighs approximately 8 grams. (about the size of a large lime)

We'll let you know if baby is a plain or peanut M&M as soon as we find out.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

You cap (clap)!

So, we're watching Oobi this morning before I went to work as it's one of the shows that has Duck interacting. He even did "itsy bitsy spider" with Oobi and Grampu today. So, anyway, Oobi and Keiko were singing and Grampu said "Oobi Grampu clap" and Duck responds right with them "You cap" and he starts clapping!

He's also starting to do a lot of reasoning. We say "okay?" and he says it back and the behavior changes. AMAZING. I don't like asking him if it's okay because really, doesn't matter. If it's time for bed, it's time for bed. But, right now it's playing to our advantage.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

How am I feeling?

Crappy. Purely crappy.

Headaches are daily now. And ya know what? Tylenol doesn't do SQUAT for a headache. Alas, I am destined to be riddled with headaches through this pregnancy too. I think they finally died down with my pregnancy with Duck somewhere between the epdiural and 2 weeks post partum. Funny, I didn't take anything stronger than Tylenol in the hospital after having a c-section, yet it won't touch these headaches now.

The nausea comes and goes. I have good and bad days. Today was an okay day. The first whiff of someone's heating up in the department microwave sent me reeling and I made my way to the cafeteria. Grateful to be pregnant.....but looking forward to when the nausea subsides a bit. I do work 1-2 hours in the cafeteria on some days. Why is it that the smells in the cafeteria don't bother me, but one person's lunch in the dept microwave does?

I know I've lost 6 pounds already. That puts me 3 pounds lighter than the same time with Duck. At 8 weeks with Duck, I weighed 164 pounds. (this was after a 17 pound loss over the summer after our wedding day) So, yep, at 8 weeks this time I was 161 pounds. And that's a total of 14 pounds since starting WW in April. For those that don't know.....I got my BFP the last week of my WW at work program.

I feel like I am going to have to go back to regular clothes because my maternity pants are no longer feeling comfy.........why can't I just wear my pajamas to work? Do they make dressy yoga pants?

It's been 2.5 weeks since I've had any spotting, so I'm feeling good, but paranoid. We're not making any plans for out of town trips til we see the high-risk OB. Which, who knows when that will happen. They originally scheduled my appointment on the same day as my regular OB appt and more insanely, on Duck's first day of school. No way am I going to be in downtown Orlando for a 1:00 appt with a specialist when my Duck gets out of school at 2:30 in Kissimmee. Not a fat chance in H E double-hockey sticks. So, I'm waiting for them to call me back with a new appt.

My FIL is coming for a visit. Got his flight booked tonight. I don't know why, but his visits never make me anxious. My own parents and my MIL? Oh yeah....totally. Maybe it's because my FIL is so freaking laid back about everything that it just makes every thing okay. I love my mom and my MIL dearly, but sometimes they drive me crazy. (I know you're both reading this) However, that's what mothers and mother-in-laws are supposed to do, right? I guess it's more because I feel like I have to pass inspection. True or not, that's how I feel.

So that will be a good thing to look forward to.

Duck? How's he doing? Hmmmm, refusing bed time before 8:45, selectively eating and on a poop strike. Had to add Miralax back into his diet this week. What is it about this time of year for this kid? Leading up to his birthday, he was actually pooping 4-6 times a day. Since his July 19th birthday? THREE TIMES! and two of those times it was NOT pretty and one involved me cleaning up puke.

We bought plum juice to add to his diet, I figured that would go down easier than prune juice. He's had that for three days now. PLus 1 tsp of Miralax in his milk at night. I figure we should be good for a pure blowout tomorrow or Thursday.

Can heat be a cause of constipation? I mean, it was his birthday week last year that started the 2 weeks of no pooping and landed me in the pedi's office. Subsequently having to administer an enema to my screaming 2 year old. (yes, I cried and I felt so bad for having put my own mother through the same damn thing 30+ years ago)

That's about it from the land of Duck.

Breakfast of pregnant champions

Yes, I'm sure marathoner Paula Radcliffe would disagree, but my champion breakfast this morning consisted of 15 almonds, 2 cups of Lucky Charms-half of which was eaten dry, 8 oz of 2% milk and 16 oz of water.

And there's still a California white peach sitting on my desk.

I'm pleasantly full right now............give it an hour and I'll be hungry again.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

A lot has happened

Well let's see:

Duck turned three and we had the wonderful company of E's cousin and his family for the weekend. We try to spend a few weekends a year together. K's the closest thing E has to a brother, in fact, if you didn't know them, you'd swear they are brothers just the way they act. We all get along really well and their son is just about year younger than Duck. This trip was the first time they really played together and it was AWESOME!

Just two days after they left, we had my niece E. M. staying with us. She'd gotten sick while on vacation with other family members, so she came to our house to get better. Such a sweet, kind-hearted girl. AFter she was feeling better and had broke her fever, she helped with Duck and even helped me with a little house work.

During that same week was when I learned some not so good news. The second week of July brought me a bit of spotting and I had it checked out by my OB. The first visit I was told it was pimple-like cysts on my cervix causing the spotting and just take it easy so they could heal. That Friday, (when K and his family arrived) I found out at the RE's office that I had what looked like a 9 mm mass that looked like a clot, but was not fluid filled and nothing to worry about at the time. The morning after E. M. arrived, I learned at the OB's office that it was actually a tear causing a subchorionic bleed.

There are many things that could go wrong at this point. Obviously a miscarriage is possible. But so is complete healing. As is partial healing and then becoming worse later on with placenta previa or placenta abruption, neither of which would be a good situation.

So, E's been doing a lot more housework and Duck really doesn't understand why I can't pick him up. For now, I'm just trying to be nice to my body.

The nausea is still horrible. One day last week I spent two hours in the cafeteria working so that I wasn't on my floor smelling the kitchen. (don't ask how the cafeteria didn't bother me, it just didn't that day)

I did get my "high-risk" OB referral. Have to call Monday to talk to them about the appointment. Right now it's scheduled the same day as my regular 12-week check up AND on the first day of school for Duck. Already a high stress day, don't ya think?

Duck is now able to tell you what the following animals say:

baby jaguar (from Diego)

he can also identify the same things as well as
ice cream

and the following body parts:

Duck is refusing to jet his tongue though. Not a single "l" sound will come out of that kids mouth. Not even to imitate "bleh" or flip his tongue. An elephant is called and "e-way".