Today is my last day of work for I don't know how long. With the economy the way it is.....I know I have options and I'm definitely not ruling ANYTHING out at this point, I just can't. I can only hope that in 4-6 weeks time when it seems appropriate to be writing "April X, 2009" as my date of availability, I will be able to find something.
I'm sad to leave my job, but at the same time, I'm more excited than I thought I would be at the prospect of having three weeks at home before the baby arrives to spend with Duck. Sure he'll be in school, but this way I can take him and pick him up (as long as my body will let me). Maybe I can even get him (and Daddy) on a good after school routine in the next three weeks so that after the baby comes, it will be second-nature for both of them.
I'm also looking forward to the prospect of potty-training over the next three weeks. Duck's one of four in his class not yet PT'd (out of 12). I'd like to make this part of his teacher's day a little easier.
My back has been so incredibly tight lately from all the running around and the stress of leaving my favorite job of all time. It's been hard for me to move at night...even getting to the point that I can't move when I have to pee. Sleep is NOT happening. I swear I'll get more sleep when HJ arrives than I do now. Even 3-hour spurts would help at this point.
Anyway, E could tell I was having some problems moving around after we had dinner with his parents. So after we got Sam into bed (at 10:00 mind you), he rubbed my back for a while. And it wasn't one of those, "I'm doing this because you're making me" back rubs, it was a "I'm sorry you don't feel good, how can I make it better" back rub.
I keep telling him a helpful husband is an ATTRACTIVE husband.
Monday's stats: Weight 193 (that's 26 pounds my friends....I'm doing so much better this time around, I started at 167)
BP was 118/78 though I'm not really sure how since my life the past few weeks have been CRAZY stressful.
I am measuring 38 weeks. That's FOUR FULL WEEKS ahead of schedule. But that's by tape measure, not anything "scientific." Problem is that I know I have polyhydramnios (high amnio levels) which I had with Duck and I think that's contributing to the measurements being so weird.
He's definitely not ready to come, his lungs aren't ready. I'm going to ask the NP on Wednesday next week about another u/s because I feel like my skin is SCREAMING for a break. I can barely stand upright most nights because it just feels like my belly is a balloon is ready to pop.
Everything else is on track though.
Duck's doing pretty good. He had a really bad day at school with lots of hitting on Tuesday. I think the stress of the baby and just home life is starting to get to him. We're struggling with pooping again. Only twice this week.......and that's with Miralax in his milk daily. Oh, and we've switched him to Lactaid and rice-based cheese. Knock on wood, we haven't had any puking since the 11th. Which is a very good thing. We make mac-n-cheese and pudding with the Lactaid, too. That way he can have it. Pizza is still proving difficult, but we've found Florastor helps with that.
My lessons blog has evidently done some good. I haven't had to beg or cry to get some help and E's even done some of the "extra" chores that I have on a list. I have found if I list all the BIG things, like cleaning the fan blades of the ceiling fans, he knows what has to be done. I also haven't touched the dishwasher in 4 days even though I know it's been run at least three times.
I've put job-hunting on hold for the time being. As much as I will miss my current job, I think I will actually enjoy three weeks at home to get ready for HJ's arrival. Three weeks vacation sounds good to me. My body definitely needs it. Plus, really, we haven't had a plans-free weekend since before Thanksgiving. I want some time to really get ready for HJ.
I've come to the realization that we have just over 4 weeks left before HJ's arrival. I've heard many times from peope looking at my belly that I won't make it even to that point. We'll see. I have an OB appt later today.
I've started the nesting. We did some major cleaning this weekend and I broke out Sam's infant clothing. OMG this kid had TON of clothes! I even found more long-sleeve items than I thought I had, so that's a good thing.
I figured out this morning that over the weekend I did the equivalent of 9 loads of laundry, but I still have 4 more to go with two loads of towels, bedding, and the whites. It's okay, though. Because my husband read "Lessons for Married Men" and has been helping. Even took care of his clothes the minute I asked! So nice to have a clean bedroom and no laundry on the dining room table!
I did a really good job with stains though. Just two outfits concerned me. One came out with some Shout Advance, the other one didn't fair so well. Not sure if I want to use the Clorox Bleach Pen on it, so I might try a 4-hour warm water and Oxiclean soak before I take that step.
I asked Sam this morning, "Are you going to show your brother the world?"
His reply? "Yes!"
Of course, this is as he's watching his Baby Einstein da Vinci dvd. Loves the animals and body parts in that video. Figure, might as well get him used to seeing them again. He would squeal and squeal as a baby when the monkeys came on.
I'm in the mood to give some lessons (or rather ramble, take your pick) 2009's Lessons for Married Men (with or without children)
At home in general: The den is not your "mancave". If you want a "mancave", get a job paying 6 digits a year so you can buy a house where you can have said "cave" away from the distractions of your family. Better yet, don't have a family.....because if they see you, they want you to do something aside from playing on the computer or xBox.
A Wii is not a paperweight. It's a great piece of technology that can actually strengthen your back, help you lose weight and even allow you some great interactions with previously mentioned family members.
Even though bugs are living creatures and need a place to live.............your wife does not want Anthony the Ant and his five million relatives joining you on a daily basis. Pick up after yourself and if your wife buys bug spray.............USE IT. She'll appreciate you took the step to be her hero.......especially if the night before she had to kill the cockroach YOU found in the bathroom.
You live in your home, right? So, that means you contribute to the mess? Perhaps you should consider contributing on a regular basis to the clean up of that mess. When your wife spends 1-2 hours cleaning the kitchen only to have it completely destroyed the next time she walks out there, it kind of upsets her. Oh, and once a month deep cleaning doesn't count when it's (A) once a month or (B) the first time in 5 years of marriage you've ever done something like that.
When you're "rewarded" for doing something great for your wife, say cleaning 5 of 6 rooms in your home to the point of your wife is completely speechless........do it again. It makes for a much better marriage.
That reminds me of my favorite marital quote: A happy marriage is like keeping a clean house, if you work at it a little each day, you never have any big messes to clean up.
In the Kitchen: Dishwasher is NOT code for "garbage disposal" If you put a dish in the dishwasher with macaroni or egg salad caked on it.......chances are very high that said macaroni or egg white pieces will either (A) still be caked on or (B) sitting at the bottom of the drain. Meaning two things.
1. Someone (preferably other than your 8-month pregnant wife) has to get down and get that crap out of the drain
2. All those nice clean dishes really aren't because, well, they were just swished around what was supposed to be clean rinse water, but was really pasta/egg filled rinse water.
Just because the dishwasher is done, does not mean everything actually came clean, sometimes you have to CHECK the stuff that comes out. For example, please do not put food-crusted forks back in the drawer only to have them returned to your wife by your 3 yo saying "yucky".
You should also check the valves for sippy cups. If *YOU* are the one that put them the dishwasher, chances are that they were 2-3 day old cups and there was milk curdled inside. So, the valves might still have milk in the because you didn't rinse them out first. This will really piss of your wife because out of the 10 sippy cups you have, 9 are already loaded into the dishwasher and the 10th has a gross valve. Meaning, she's pissed off because she has to wash it out and your 3yo is ticked because he has to wait for "chobby".
That beer that's been in the fridge for well over a year now? Throw it out or drink it. Takes up too much space and when you have kids, you need all the space you can get. You need even more space for fresh fruits and veggies if you live in a warm climate and bugs are a problem. Add in a pregnant wife with gestational diabetes and well, she needs that space for her sugar-free/sugarless meals and snacks. Two veggie crisper drawers full of beer isn't a wise use of your fridge space.
If you use the griddle, clean up after yourself. Being a fantastic grill cook does not get you out of the responsibility of cleaning up the grill. And certainly, getting grease all over the backspash of the stove isn't really nice either. It's not fun to clean it up, but it sucks even more to have to clean the stove top before anyone else can cook.
All clean dishes have a home. And while you might not know the exact home of each dish, it's better to ask for help than for your wife to find dishes stacked like a nearly-completed Jenga game that's going to topple with one wrong move. Those dishes your wife painted? They're special to her....KNOCK IT OFF and ask for help in locating their proper home.
Dirty dishes belong first in the sink to be rinsed off, then in the dishwasher. They do NOT belong on your child's small table, on the couch, on the computer desk, or on the chair/grill you have sitting on the front porch.
Laundry Doing laundry is more than just putting things into the washer and dryer, then piling them onto the bed. Laundry entails folding and putting away. Granted, your wife might leave a pile of clean clothes for a week, but that doesn't mean it doesn't eventually get done (like with the following week's laundry).
Asking your wife for clean boxers is a HUGE no-no. Especially when she specifically asked you to take care of your pile of clothes three days ago. The same pile that contains all the t-shirts you've asked for in the past few days and your clean boxers.
Your wife might make her own laundry soap. Generally this is an easy way to save money. But she might also do it because you and previously mentioned 3yo have sensitive skin and it works out much better if she knows that it's dye/fragrance free than to play a grocery store guessing game.
Grocery lessons Just because your now 8 month pregnant wife wants to ride in a ECV doesn't mean she wants to spend all night in the grocery store. Especially if you're talking a middle-of-the-week, on payday, after she gets out of work trip to the store. She still wants to get in, get her stuff and get out. (hmmmm, sounds like a Jeff Dunham character I know, though I'm certain Walter doesn't put it quite so nicely.)
Going to the store to pick up a few things does not mean spending $60+ on junk. It means actually getting the 10 items you went in for and not much else.
Want to make the grocery store REALLY easy for your wife? Stay home! Oh, and keep any little ones home with you. This might be the only time in a week's time that your wife gets "quiet" time to herself. After all, it seems everyone wants to follow her into the bathroom these days.
Child(ren) Okay, so I've given you a few lessons involving children already, but there are a few more. First, if your 3yo decides that even though he's supposed to have been asleep for nearly two hours and he pounds on his door wanting out.......and your wife is tired because she's had a long week at work............get off your video game and take care of the child. NICELY and without being asked. Chances are your wife with neither ask you to do this, nor tell you it upsets her that you didn't volunteer.
Children need time. Your wife will take time before bed to give a bath, read a book, snuggle into a movie and then after the child is in bed after 9:00 (sometimes later), she'll clean the house til whenever and MAYBE take some time for herself before she crashes into bed between midnight and 1:00 a.m.
Your wife Last lesson. Very simple: appreciate your wife and show it. See the above "chidren need time" lesson? Maybe while she's in the bathtub getting splashed and water's heading all over the bathroom floor, you could clean up the kitchen or pick up the living room or finish cleaning off the table from dinner. Sitting on the computer is not a wise choice.
Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, and go to Hell.
The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.
He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?
Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Michigan, da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.'
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two guys from Michigan , the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?'
Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too much varm veather up dere at da Keweena, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather's dis nice.'
The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men. The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?'
They both look at the devil in surprise and say, 'Vell, don't ya know, if hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Lions von da Super Bowl.'
Okay, I am so ready to have this baby. Really, I am.
I can barely stand in the kitchen anymore....and when I do I spend the next 2-3 hours barely able to walk. I can't bend down and wash my legs in the shower! Not sure if all has to do with the pulled groin muscle from early December, but I'm in PAIN.
I can sleep at night okay, not getting up to pee a whole lot, but OMG I have a ton of pain. I honestly don't remember this much pain with Duck. At least not in the late stages anyway. Maybe it was because I was so freaking active, walking around, I just collapsed at night. So I didn't notice the pain?
I don't know.
This is one reason why I'm actually kind of "glad/relieved" that I will be at home the three weeks before HJ is set to arrive. I mean, I can relax a little, yeah, okay, I'll try to relax and maybe sleep while Duck's at school.
These are all things that you cannot just "snap out of."
They are medical conditions requiring medical treatment and often medication.
We've all seen the commercials about depression affecting your life. It affects more than that. It truly affects everyone around you. It does no good to take medication, then stop all of a sudden just because you feel better. You feel better because the medication is working. Stopping only brings back the depression, often much worse than it was before. Not to mention all the nasty side effects of suddenly stopping meds.
Anxiety is getting worked up over small or big things, important or trivial. It can be as "simple" as going outside or as complex as an upcoming trip/job interview or job loss/family addition. Whatever "it" is, it is chemical imbalance in your brain and sometimes requires medication, therapy or both. Again, quitting either is detrimental to your progress.
Worrying yourself into an ulcer over something beyond your control, while obviously a bit silly, is definitely VERY common. What can you do about it? Medication works for many. Why? It's a chemical imbalance in your stomach. It can lead to severe damage, it can cause uncontrollable vomiting for days, and it definitely can have an effect on your daily life.
All three of these things can occur in anyone's life. Rich or poor, any nationality, any age, any faith.
Obesity, whether slight or morbid, is NO DIFFERENT. You cannot just wake up tomorrow and not be obese, RIGHT?
Then why do people think that someone suffering from depression, anxiety or an ulcer think they can just wake up and not be that way?
If medication helps you be a better spouse, parent, sibling, friend..........you owe it to yourself and those around you to take it consistently.
If you are the spouse, parent, sibling or friend of someone who needs to take medication for depression, anxiety, ulcers or any other chemical imbalance in the brain, you MUST be understanding and supportive. If you can't......then you should start practicing silence because:
"if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"
However, that does not mean you should purposely keep information from or lie to the person suffering. Guaranteed you will make their personal situation worse, giving them more things to be depressed or anxious about or to worry even more.
Granted, we're still working our way through samples the allergist gave us, but OMG, what a difference. I really should take a new pic of Duck's neck. Because it's almost clear. Just 5 days since the last photo, he's almost redness-free and the bumps are nearly gone too.
Now, figuring out how to PAY for it will be a challenge.
Still waiting to hear back on the two jobs I applied for. Likely won't hear for a while, but a girl can hope right?
No worries, we'll bounce back somehow, we always do.
Taking a trip back in time now........all the way back to the spring of 1988. I was a freshman in high school, taking German. My German teacher handed out information on exchange students through a program called "Friendship Connection." It was a 4-week program where a student came to live with you, then you went to stay with them.
My parents willingly participated in the first part of the program, telling me that we couldn't swing for me to go. That was okay with me because I was just excited to participate.
Three days after Nina arrived, my parents were on the phone, trying to make sure I was on the flight in June to go to Germany for four weeks because Nina fit into our family so well that I must be able to fit in just as easily.
Absolutely, 100% one of the best experiences my parents ever afforded me. We didn't have a lot of designer clothes and my mom knew how to save money......so this was a HUGE deal to be able to go overseas for four weeks.
(mom if you're reading, please scan/send/bring a few of my pics from way back then)
So, here they are, my "other" family who I love and miss dearly. I had the privilege of returning to Germany a few times while my sister was stationed there, surprisingly close to my family. It's been 6 (maybe 7) years since I've seen them, but I know that we could pick up right where we left off.
Seriously, honestly, I give up. Duck puked three times in a row, all over his rug in his bedroom. I have absolutely no desire or energy to clean it up. He's watching Polar Express right now, then I'm going to let him sleep in his pack-n-play in our room tonight. E is going to attempt to clean the rug, but I think it's shot.
I'm really getting pissed off. I FINALLY get this kid cleared up and he's doing just fine for a few days and then BAM! He gets bit again, starts scratching, starts spreading and there is just plain nothing I can do about it.
He's all broke out across his neck now. It started as two little red bumps on Thursday night. I feel like I need a scrapbook of bug bites.
I took him to the complex office this afternoon and told them they HAVE to do something. They treated twice in October, but not since. My other problem is that it's only HIS room and bathroom. Thing is? He has the only room with 3 outside walls. Our building is set up strangely, but yes, he only shares a wall with our den area. (no ants/bugs in there) So, they are going to have pest control spray the next four Mondays inside and out. This way, they can get them. Hopefully they will also treat the other apartments, well, at least the rat-hole that's above us. Not convinced that's where all the roaches hang out. Sorry, off topic.......back to my little Duck.
I don't know why he's the only one getting bit, but he is. I also know that his sensitive skin is what's causing the severe reactions. He understands to stop scratching, but I'm worried that if we continue to use the steroid creams, they will just make his skin that much more sensitive.
Why can nothing be easy with this kid?
We started Xyzal two nights ago in hopes it would help him sleep at night. Of course not! It's hyping him up! Last night he was up til after 11:30 chattering away like a chipmunk who found a secret stash. So we'll have to give it at snack or dinner time. At least it's a flavor he's taking without issue. Now, the thing will be to keep him on it.
In other news...... I'm feeling okay. I'm actually getting 3 hours of sleep at a stretch, problem is that I'm sleeping in one position for the entire time. I'm normally a thrasher....ask anyone in my family, I fight with the covers. In fact, by the time I was an adult, I gave up on top sheets and only needed fitted sheets and a blanket.
Last night I woke up to a cramp in my left calf and when I attempted to move, I heard several pops in my back and a couple in my left hip. I can't remember laying in one position for so long. Sucks waking up just because I have a cramp........I still don't necessarily have to get up to pee. I do only because once I'm up, I might as well, but it's not waking me.
I see the OB on Monday and will have another ultrasound to measure HJ's weight and size. I'll be 32 weeks, 1 day. My GD numbers are okay, but I'm seeing some high numbers now. I've had two readings over 140 this week alone and that's NOT GOOD. So I have to really watch what I'm eating, get more veggies in and stop letting my stress level dictate my diet.
Oh what I wouldn't give for a big bowl of ice cream and hot fudge! Or a beer.....mojito......Jack and Coke............
OKay, so it's just to the grocery store. My mom thought it was funny last night when I told her I was taking the babysitter with me to go grocery shopping. I can't do it by myself anymore and E puts too much in the cart and well, I didn't really want to deal with Duck and the groceries.
Besides, Ashley's become more of a friend over the last two years and she's not that much younger than we are.
So I sent her a text message the other day to see if she was available to go with me. YAY! She is!
Of course, I also pay her a little when she comes to help me out. She's giving up her time, so she should be compensated for it.
It helps, I'll move a little quicker and I won't have to worry about loading up all the groceries alone.
Oh the joys of a pre-schooler's diet. Duck woke up wanting chicken nuggets for breakfast the other day. Today he wanted rocks-n-milk (Coco Roos) for lunch.
He's DEFINITELY lactose intolerant. I think I changed 7 poopy diapers yesterday and I know E changed a few too. So, we're going back to Lactaid for him.....nothin' says "I love you mommy" like needing a special diet. At least it's just an intolerance and not an allergy.
Oh, and the ants got to him again. The back of his neck this time.....poor kid. Not sure what else I need to do to get it through to my complex that the conditions are causing my child's reactions. They've really done what they can do at this point, right?
I will be unemployed. There is such a stigma attached to that, even in these times. this is entirely NOT my choice.
I have had a job for the past 19 years. NINETEEN YEARS I have worked hard to have my own money, my own things........was it always easy? Nope. There were times when I had two jobs. I worked part time at Target my first year of teaching. In 2001, I left a job and had to move back home, but even then, I had a job subbing til I found a permanent position before school let out for the summer.
I've always had back-up plans. Always. Now is no different, except my back-up plans really aren't feasible. I live in a state that has laid off/terminated more teachers in the last year than in many years prior. And since the economy is so bad, people aren't taking vacations to the Happiest Place on Earth. There go my back-up plans, right?
So many decisions to make in the weeks to come and I'm so unsure of what the right thing to do is. I could easily do nothing, but that's not me. I could totally obsess for the next four weeks (totally me) and get nothing decided and possibly stress myself out to the point of an ulcer. (would not be the first one in my life)
Definitely one of the times in my life I really hate being a responsible adult. When can I take a break? That's right, never because.......oh wait, here it comes....my favorite line.....you know the one you use when your kids ask you "why?"
BECAUSE I'M THE MOM, THAT'S WHY.
(side note: yes, my son has finally hit the pre-school vocabulary of mine, why, and NO!)